Post-Debate Trainwreck

After last night’s presidential debate, MSNBC spoke with undecided Virgina voters in an effort to prove to the rest of the world that, indeed, Americans are complete idiots. The MSNBC panel delivered — big time.

Watch the video here

Host Ann Curry begins by reporting on Obama’s “10 percent” lead, then corrects herself to say “10 points,” despite the fact that these are identical. Unless — and this is a real possibility — she is actually referring to the score of the recent McCain/Obama 1-on-1, no-blood-no-foul, street rules b-ball game (currently in rain-delay.)

Next, she gets the ball rolling by asking the panel for “a show of hams.” Yum.

Panelist Jimmy takes a second or two before deciding, apparently on the spot, that McCain had appeared stronger on economic issues. He then becomes visibly uncomfortable upon realizing that he will be asked to defend this position. Gulp. Ultimately he explains that, in his view, McCain is “lookin’ downna road.” Eloquently put.

After Brian deftly defends the Obama “longer plan-picture”, Renise ruins everything by making perhaps the only reasonable comment of the night: that nobody even knows what the hell is going on with the economy, let alone how to fix it.

Lisa is introduced and described as being undecided because both candidates are just so great! Nobody listens to a thing she says, because we’re all too busy being amazed that anyone has this problem.

Next we have a couple shows of hands which, scientifically-extrapolated, prove that while 50% of Virginians know a racist, a full 100% know someone who thinks Palin is a moron. I’m going to be honest with you, Virgina: this makes me very sad/happy and I am disgusted/overjoyed to hear it.

Panelist Joan now joins the fray and, in a heroic effort to use as many words as possible, speaks of “The general public at large…” Wait, I’m confused. We’re talking about a subset of people here, right? Yes, that was sarcasm. The word you’re looking for is “everyone”. I just saved you 6 syllables.

Eventually we come back to Renise who, after disappointing early, now regales us with tales of Obama’s “temperament”, “discipline” and crowd-favorite “even kiln.” (I can second that one. You should see that dude’s pottery — it is freakin’ amazing.) Nice save, Renise. You are tonight’s big winner. I’m sorry I ever doubted you.

Last place goes to Michael, who by virtue of the fact that he is never called upon and, in fact, doesn’t utter a single word, is unfortunately able to maintain an illusion of competence. Better luck next time.


5 Responses to “Post-Debate Trainwreck”

  1. 1 Azeem Jiva October 16, 2008 at 9:31 am

    If Obama loses this thing then I’ll know for sure the election was rigged. Alas living in Texas my blue vote will be drowned out in a sea of red šŸ™‚

  2. 2 Mark October 16, 2008 at 9:35 am

    Austin is a liberal oasis in the Texas desert of conservatism. Odd because the USA is like an island of conservatism in a sea of liberalism (ie, the rest of the damn universe).

    See here:

    So what I’m trying to say is that you live in a donut hole. šŸ™‚

  3. 3 alkivar October 16, 2008 at 10:08 am

    now for a truly tasteless joke… delete if you want mark…

    Q: Whats the difference between Palin’s mouth and vagina?

    A: Only one retarded thing has come out of her vagina.

  4. 4 Bheeshmar October 16, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    Mark, your article was very articulate in stark contrast to the subjects of your article.

  5. 5 Azeem Jiva October 17, 2008 at 8:54 am

    Woohoo I live in a donut hole! I’m sure there’s an appropriate Homer Simpson quote for this situation šŸ™‚

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